8 candidates, 10 words

We've had lots of debates, but I'm still not sure which GOP candidate to root for in the primaries...  and I think I actually get less sure with each debate.

To help me sort out my thoughts on all the remaining candidates, I thought I'd try to force myself to describe each candidate in exactly ten words.  Here goes nothing...

Newt Gingrich:  Giant head.  Funny name.  Not exactly a one woman man. 

Mitt Romney:  Nice hair. Funny name.  Taken every side of every issue.

Michelle Bachman:  Nice name.  Crazy eyes.  Forever tainted by the Tardasil incident.

Jon Huntsman:  Former Obama lackey.  Current douchebag.  Definitely in the wrong primary. 

Rick Perry:  Created lots of jobs.  Awful debater.  Forgets too many things.   

Rick Santorum:  A decent guy, but too conservative for Pennsylvania in 2006.  

Ron Paul:  Insane foreign policy.  Screechy voice.  Often answers easy questions incoherently.

Buddy Roemer:  I keep hearing this name mentioned, but not sure why.

Not sure how much that actually helped me, but that was kinda fun...  ok, now it's your turn!  ;-)